INTERVIEW: Patricia Sanderson Opens Up About Her Son Detox

Two weeks ago, we posted a truly inspirational story about Detox pulling his mom, Patricia, on stage during an emotional lip synch at Roscoe's Tavern in Chicago. We wanted to hear more about what happened that night and the special relationship Detox and his mom share. We reached out to Patricia, and she gave us everything we could have ever asked for and more in this interview. From Detox's drag beginning to her thoughts on Willam and Vicky Vox to a special message for LGBTQ youth, Patricia had us in tears and shows us what a stand up mother and ally she really is. 

We’ll start off casual. Just tell us a little bit about yourself.

"I am a baby boomer raised in a strict dysfunctional family where you were not allowed to cry or show affection.  I was 25 years old before I ever heard the words "I love you" from my mother.  She called me for my birthday, I remember getting off the phone and crying like a baby.  She wasn't a hugger because she said she was never hugged.  I promised myself that I would change the pattern and break the chain when I had children.  My greatest pride are my three children; I feel so blessed.  I am very well traveled but not so worldly.  Lucky for me my children and friends have taught me so much about truth and life.  I love my coffee, vintage stores, the beach, hanging out with my family/friends and writing.  Oh yes, and riding my beautiful pearl white Harley, named Cloud.  I always name my vehicles!  I love laughing about all my life's crazy adventures and listening to my children when they are all together, they as so fun."

The moment at Roscoes that has touched so many people- what exactly happened?

"I usually stay in the back - just watching the show and observing the fans.  I always tell Matthew not to call me out, I like to stay behind the scenes.  Well, I hadn't seen him in awhile and we hadn't had a chance to greet each other before the show.  I just needed to hold him and tell him I loved him; we have really missed each other.  I was braver that I normally am because I had a few drinks and I don't usually drink very much so I think that spiked me up a little to do what was in my heart [laughs]."

We love seeing that type of family support. Have you always been this supportive of Matthew?

"I have always been supportive of Matthew's art and creativity and encouraged him to pursue his dreams in regards to performing.  He and I would hit the thrift stores looking for the perfect materials to create amazing costumes either for halloween or his plays.  He had the vision and I would make the costumes; the costumes would come to life because would get so into character.  He was born with the gift to perform.  But to answer the question no; I wasn't always supportive.  I wasn't thrilled that he was doing drag.  I thought that he needed a "real" career.  Whatever that means!!  I didn't like him dressing up at my house and would ask him to dress at the clubs.  I did buy him things for drag, wigs, jewelry and dresses.  I love him and just want him to be happy and he loves what he is doing so I am super supportive now."

When do you first find out that Matthew was Detox?

"I am not sure when, but it must have been around the time he first started doing "Drag".  I got a call from my daughter asking me if I had heard that Matthew was in "Detox". She had heard it through some of Matthew's friends.  I was so upset  and worried, I called Matthew and asked him when he was going to tell me.  He had no clue what I was talking about!!  I said I had heard he was in "Detox" he laughed so hard... and said that's my stage name "Detox".  We laughed and I am sure he tells the story to his friends of our miscommunication."

Are you proud of the way Matthew was portrayed on RuPaul's Drag Race?

"Yes, I am very proud of him, I still smile when I think of him on the show.  He has such a great sense of humor and he truly is so kind and loving.  I just have to laugh whenever I think about the show.  Anyone can watch his body language and see how much of a heart he has by the support he showed the other contestants.  His eyes and gentle touch displayed his huge heart.  I think he made the show, of course, I am his mom but he was quite wonderful!!"

Has your life changed at all since Matthew was on the show?

"Yes, when we are together his fans will recognize him and I get to experience the love that the fans have for him.  I've always known he was extremely talented but now I really see it.  I am so proud of him and the way he treats his fans. He is always sweet and kind.  I have also experienced a lot of support from my friends and his fans of what a loving soul he is and so many kind words that I had the privilege of raising him."

What are your thoughts on Willam and Vicky Vox?

"I love them!  I think they are are super talented and inspiring.  I spoke recently to Willam on the phone and he told me how much he loves to hang out with Matthew and they are really enjoying traveling together with DWV.  I met Willam and Vicky for the first time at Roscoes in Chicago earlier this year.  I look forward to getting to know them better when we can all spend more time together.  I love their creativity, voices and their music videos are simply incredible.  Anytime I need a pick me up and a belly laugh I watch one of their hit videos.  They always lift my spirits, keep a smile on my face and give me a little of my Matthew.  I burst with pride for my little gay boy who wore a t-shirt when he was little that said "I Can't Be Herded" it was a steer with his legs crossed wearing sunglasses [laughs]."

Is there anything you would say to LGBTQ youth who are not lucky enough to have the type of support Matthew does?

"I am always so moved by the fans who come up to me and tell me I am special.  I'm not special, they are.  I don't see how a parent could treat their child the way some of them do.  The stories are heartbreaking, how they haven't spoken in years and it goes on and on.  Maybe that's why I feel so strongly about supporting the gay community and my son.  I would say take a lesson from Detox - when we are together and I get upset about people staring or making mean comments, Matthew says to me, "of course they are staring, look at me - I am beautiful." Yes he is beautiful on the outside but mostly on the inside.  Listen to RuPaul "You Got To Love Yourself."  Listen to affirmations from Louise Hay - look in the mirror every day and say out loud your name and I love you, twice. I do it every morning and throw in a quote from Detox "I look beautiful."  Finally, surround yourselves with positive loving people!"

God Bless and thank you for the interview. 
No, THANK YOU Patty! You're an inspiration to us all.